The Boy Ain't Mine
by Black Gargie
Summary: The Sakuragi gundam followed secretly behind Sakuragi to a date spot to find out who is their leader's mystery lover, only to find something even more shocking than just the lover himself!


A/N: I was bored and I had nothing to do in the office. Then I was listening to the radio and this really long-time-no-hear song 'The Boy Is Mine' by Brandy and Monica was played and I suddenly came up with this Slam Dunk idea fic. For all the Sakuragi and Rukawa fans out there, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Slam Dunk, but I do want to become a certain redhead tensai. Nya ha ha ha~!

                                                THE BOY AIN'T MINE

            "Watashi wa Sakuragi Hanamichi, basketuball tensai~"

            Sakuragi Hanamichi was all dressed up in his body-fit T-shirt and slackers, singing his self-composed song. He looked pretty up and about today and as today wasn't a practice day (due to the fact that Kokure announced to the team yesterday that our coach gori Akagi had an appendix attack and had to undergo surgery and be hospitalized for about a week), ours truly the basketball tensai wouldn't want to miss a chance on having some quality time on his own. As Sakuragi walked down the road of Kanegawa Town he began to think to himself.

            'He he, I'm wearing this body-fit T-shirt he got for me just yesterday so that I can impress him. He said he always liked me in body-fit clothes and that I look good in dark blue. Once he sees this Giorgio Armani T-shirt he bought for me out of his loving heart, he'll be drooling all over me! Nya ha ha ha~!'

            Well, it is needless to say that by the looks of his unusually well-dressed manner, our dear ol' 'tensai' is a gay (an uke at that) and he's going out on a date, unknown to the basketball team, that is. So far, only his gundam knew of his 'interests', but they have yet to know Sakuragi's mystery lover. Which is why this time, despite being threatened by their gundam leader not to follow him, the Sakuragi gundam Mido, Noma, Takamiya and Ookutsu could be seen creeping from one spot to another keeping an eye on where Sakuragi was going.

            "Kuso!" Ookutsu cursed silently, digging his ear in exaggeration. "His singing and his self-composed songs get worse every time."

            "Annou…Do we have to follow him?" Mido asked worriedly. "Whoever he's dating is his private life and we definitely have no right to pry on his private business."

            "Baka! Of course we have to follow him!" Takamiya, who suggested this stalking idea, replied. "We followed him everywhere he went since Junior High and we even followed and sneak-previewed his dates with other girls during that time."

            "And witnessed his heartbreaks at that," Noma noted.

            "Right, so aren't we supposed to follow up with the tradition, regardless the gender he's dating?"

            "Yeah, I suppose it has always been our tradition," Mido admitted. "But it wasn't easy for him to get over the fact that he'll never have any luck for girls—what with the 50 breakups record—and it wasn't easy for him to accept the fact that Haroko would never fall in love with him ever again. I just thought that maybe this could be his lucky break and we shouldn't bother him…"

            "Nonsense! He's perfectly fine!" Ookutsu waved Mido's words away. "I bet he's already used to us popping out of nowhere and congratulating him for the breakups he's getting."

            "Yeah, come to think of it, I'm getting used to being head-butted all the time," Noma replied. I suppose I'm getting immune to it."

            "Damare! Damare!" Takamiya hissed, shushing his teammates. "Check it out!"

            Everyone turned to look at where Takamiya was pointing. There, they saw Sakuragi entering an exclusive Italian restaurant and was heading to the middle of the restaurant where he stopped beside a table, looking pretty shocked. As the gundam went to get a clearer view, they were shocked too to see that the table where Sakuragi stopped sat his archenemy Rukawa Kaede!

            "Nani?? Our Sakuragi Hanamichi is actually dating _the_ Rukawa Kaede that stole the heart of his love??" Noma almost gave away their position with his startled yell. Thankfully they were a good distance away from the restaurant to be heard.

            "Woah! Now that's something I've never expected!" Ookutsu exclaimed in a leveled voice. "I wouldn't be surprised if Rukawa is gay—he doesn't show a single interest in girls—but I didn't think they'd actually be interested in each other!"

            "Yeah, Sakuragi hates that guy enough to kick him to Timbuktu!" Takamiya agreed. "They're even wearing matching clothes!"

            "Ie, I don't think they're dating each other," Mido said as he looked closely at Sakuragi's facial expression. "I think he's just as surprised as we are seeing Rukawa sitting at the same restaurant he was about to have his date with."

            "Then let's go inside and check it out!" Takamiya grabbed his friends' sleeve and urged them to go in. "We'll be sitting out here just guessing if we don't go inside and find out what's going on around here!"

            "Yes, let's," Mido, at last, agreed to Takamiya's suggestion. They tried to disguise themselves using sunglasses and hats (like those suspicious-looking spies on TV) and blended in with the surroundings before choosing a seat where they could get a good earshot at what the unlikely duo were saying.

            "What the heck are you doing here, you baka kitsune?? Aren't you usually the goody-good boy staying back at the court practicing?! Why are you here?! Why are you even in the same restaurant as I am?! And why are you wearing the same clothes as I do??" Sakuragi practically yelled the whole place down, showering questions after questions at his most hated enemy.

            "Whatever I'm doing here is none of your concern, you do'aho," Rukawa replied coldly, his icy blue eyes looking uninterestedly at the red head.

            "Well, you are wearing the same outfit as mine! You copied my style! And at the same brand at that! I should have you arrested for copyright!"

            "It's not against the law to wear the same clothes as someone else."

            "Well, it's against the rules of this basketball tensai Sakuragi Hanamichi here!" Sakuragi growled, pointing to himself. "You better go home and change those clothes before I change it for you!"

            "Go ahead," Rukawa huffed nonchalantly. "Let your boyfriend see how rude and violent you are."

            "Na…Nani…?" Sakuragi felt as a boulder just fell on his head. He blushed really bad as he grabbed Rukawa's collar and growled, "Who told you about me having a boyfriend?!"

            "No one," Rukawa replied in a as-a-matter-of-fact way.

            "What makes you so sure I have one??"

            "I don't have to be a genius to know that you have certain 'interests' on boys and that you're now heading for a date," Rukawa slapped Sakuragi's hands away to force him to let go of his collar. "Besides, only an uke would wear something as body-fit as this T-shirt."

            Sakuragi glared at Rukawa grudgingly for a moment or two before grabbing a chair someone was sitting on (Ouch!) and sitting opposite the cold-eyed kitsune. His eyes narrowed into dangerous slits as he hissed, "Well, for your information, you baka kitsune, you're wearing the same body-fit T-shirt of the same brand as mine, so that also makes you a gay _and_ an uke!"

            Rukawa's eyes widened in realization as the truth struck him. His gaze shifted down towards Sakuragi's T-shirt and his own T-shirt and Sakuragi could've sworn that he saw the ice cold baka kitsune actually went pink.

            "You're also on a date with someone, aren't you? Admit it!" Sakuragi's lips creased to a cunning grin and his eyes were turning into those smug cum sneaky look.

            "That's none of your business," Rukawa replied, looking away.

            "Well, you've been wearing the same outfit as mine and you're at the same restaurant as I am and you said it yourself only an uke would wear what I wear," Sakuragi replied smugly. "So we're more or less in the same boat. Now who's the lucky guy to be dating you, eh, eh?"

            "Why should you care? You should be finding yourself a seat before your boyfriend comes around and sees you with me and misunderstood you," Rukawa was still trying to hide his secret from the redhead as he took a sip of his coffee.

            "My boyfriend is not a jealous type," Sakuragi said proudly. "Not like yours, maybe. He'd probably come over and shake hands and said 'Ohayo' to you."

            "Gomene, sorry to disappoint you, but he is not some kind of jealous do'aho who leap at anyone who comes near me. You leap at people all the time, it's hard to believe anyone would want you as their boyfriend."

            "Aha! So you do admit that you're here on a date!" Sakuragi pointed at the kitsune in victory. "I should've known that you are different from the others. Pretty girls pass by you and you didn't even blink. Girls cheer for you during games and you didn't even react just a little bit. I bet loads of girls stare at you during classes but you sleep it away, like the baka kitsune you are! Nya ha ha ha ha~!!"

            "Do'aho!" Rukawa muttered under his breath as he took another sip of coffee.

            "Well, unfortunately for you, my boyfriend want me to be his," Sakuragi said smugly after ordering himself a tall glass of Coca Cola. "He admired my enthusiasm and my love for life and my everything. Most of all he loved my optimism and my good looks. The really weird thing is that _you_, a baka kitsune and an Ice King at that, would even attract anyone."

            "For your information, do'aho, that's exactly what he said he likes about me," Rukawa replied. "He even bought me this T-shirt to prove it, and also because he said I looked good in this colour."

            "Nani?? That's exactly what my boyfriend said to me when he bought this shirt for me!" Sakuragi exclaimed, pointing at his own T-shirt. "You're not only a copycat, but your boyfriend is also practicing copyright! Baka kitsune!"

            "Hmph, at least he didn't take me to the same places during our dates like yours did. Where does your boyfriend usually take you to during your dates?"

            "Well, he takes me to the zoo, the nightclubs—Zuliana is a very cool hangout—and the latest bar house called…what was it…? Oh, the Sakura Sora Bar House, I remember! Hmm…what else…? Oh, he also took me to this really cool fun fair and gave me a premiere to this awesome arcade called…"

            "Edo Tennessee?" Rukawa asked.

            "How…How did you know?"

            "Who's the copycat now?"

            "You…You mean he took you to those places before??" Sakuragi stood up abruptly, his face showing shock. His gundam, who listening to every word, shrank a little, hoping that their gundam leader wouldn't see them. So far, so good.

            "He even has private basketball practices with me," Rukawa said, a small smug in his tone.

            "So does mine…" Sakuragi went weak all over as he sat down back onto his chair. "Has he…Has he 'done it' with you already? He always does it after practice."

            At this point, Sakuragi swore that he saw Rukawa's face has gone red in embarrassment, which meant a 'Yes'.

            The gundam team was pretty shocked. Sakuragi Hanamichi, the enthusiastic crazy redhead, and Rukawa Kaede, the cold, calm and collected Ice King, have boyfriends who were doing the same thing with them, asking them to wear the same clothes and dating them at the same places? This was way too weird. They had to find out more about these mysterious boyfriends of theirs. That is, if they realized that on their table were glasses upon glasses of sundaes, soft drinks and ice cream they have been eating while listening to this fantastic news.

            "So, uh…what did he give you for your birthday?" Sakuragi asked tentatively.

            "A brand new Guess watch," Rukawa replied, brandishing the watch in front of the redhead. Without waiting for Sakuragi's answer to an already known answer question, he asked him, "What did he get you for Valentine's Day?"

            "A Gucci wallet. For your anniversary?"

            "A Sony discman."

            "Gee…A-re…we're all having the same presents for special occasions…" Sakuragi scratched his chin nervously. His eyes shifted to a passing by waitress and asked for a pen and some paper. The waitress nodded and brought what he asked. He took one paper and passed it to Rukawa, saying, "I know I'm going to have a bad feeling about this but…I've got an idea."

            "You want me to write down our boyfriends' name so that we can compare it and make sure," Rukawa said as he took the pen first to write down his piece of paper. He passed the pen back to a quite stunned Sakuragi and noted in an as-a-matter-of-fact way, "Doesn't take a genius to figure you out. This linking thing is getting on my mind anyway."

            Sakuragi took the pen and scribbled down a little onto his piece of paper. He then looked at Rukawa and they both told each other through eye contact that they were ready to reveal their boyfriends' name. They began counting together.

            "Ich…ni…san!"

            Both of them held up their paper for each other to see. The Sakuragi gundam craned their necks a little to see what was written on the papers. Their eyes widened when they saw that both pieces of paper were having the same name. Sakuragi's widened eyes and Rukawa's slightly enlarged ones told them that they were also shocked to see only one name on the paper and the name was so ever familiar.

            **SENDOH**

           Sakuragi stared at the name on Rukawa's paper and Rukawa stared at Sakuragi's paper. None of them said a word. They were too stunned to even utter a peep. They found it hard to believe that not only their boyfriends gave them the same gifts on special occasions, the same compliment on the colour they looked good on, took them on the same places to date, but their boyfriends were actually the same person! The long silence hung between them and the Sakuragi gundam could feel the tense aura between them.

            "Let's get out of here quick," Mido whispered, "before they noticed we're here and make things worse."

            The gundam agreed. As silently as they could, they slinked their way out of their seats, paid the bill and tiptoed out of the restaurant. They went a considerable distance away from the restaurant and started complaining about Sendoh one by one.

            "The nerve of him! He already has that kitsune Rukawa Kaede and yet he still wants to get into our leader Sakuragi's pants!" Mido was the first to complain. He didn't seem pleased to see his best friend cum gundam leader being tricked like that. "How heartbroken he must be feeling right now! Isn't it enough that he has been heartbroken by girls already?"

            "Yeah! Although I have nothing against having two lovers at once, but this is ridiculous!" Noma punched his palm. "Same clothes? Same compliments? Same gifts? Same dating places? This is definitely not the type of man I would want to date, even if I am gay!"

            "That guy has no sense of creativity!" Ookutsu shook his head. "Even if he's trying to be a two-timer, at least come up with something new, like giving different gifts or something. Their gifts were both exactly alike! This is too ridiculous, man!"

            "And for the record," Takamiya joined in, "I personally think that…"

            "Did I miss anything?"

            The Sakuragi gundam turned around in shock at upon hearing the voice of Sendoh behind them. The tall-haired basketball player from Ryonan took a glance at the restaurant and saw Sakuragi and Rukawa sitting face to face with their papers still held up for each other to see. Sendoh smiled in his usual suave way.

            "Oh, it looks like my Hana-chan and Kaede-chan have finally met. What a lovely thing to happen."

            "Lovely?! You're already busted! They know your tricks into seducing them!" Mido exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the tall-haired seme. "Same clothes, same gifts, same date places, same everything! Don't you think for a second that you might actually get caught?!"

            "Hait, hait! Can't you show a little creativity here??" the rest of the gundam ganged up to confront the Romeo boy. "You want your tracks to be clean you need to do loads of things so that they won't catch you and bust you! What kind of a lover are you??"

            "A resourceful one," Sendoh replied, shaking his finger. "I am actually saving money by taking them to those places that I know of and have enough discounts at. Do you know how much is cost for a guy to get their spouses different gifts just to cover up his act? That's exactly the reason why people cannot last long in their two-timing relationship: they spend too much and in the end, they get the bullet."

            "I can understand that maybe you like the both of them at the same time to be doing such things, "Mido said. "But this is ridiculous! Aren't you afraid of being caught anyway?"

            "My method of two-timing dating is foolproof. It took them until now to figure it out and bust me. Normal two-timers would be discovered straight away, but mine didn't. Besides, it would be fine for them to find out anyway—I'm kinda getting tired of them and decided to dump them. You know, this method is so foolproof, even Koshino didn't suspect a thing."

            "You're dating with Koshino too??" Mido exclaimed, remembering the guy who dared to grab Sakuragi's collar during the friendly match between Ryonan and Shohoku. "Don't tell me you're giving him the…"

            "Same clothes, same compliments, same gifts for special occasions and same date places, no questions asked. Discounts available at all times for me," Sendoh replied for Mido what he was going to say. "I'm getting a pretty good hang about this, don't you think? I know it's sad to end Hana-chan and Kaede-chan's relationship like this. It's all for the best, you know…"

            "Wanna bet?" the ever familiar voices of the feisty redhead and the cold kitsune rang behind Sendoh. Sendoh turned around tentatively to see Sakuragi Hanamichi and Rukawa Kaede glaring at him with those angry and jealous-looking eyes: Rukawa a pair of ice cold blue and Sakuragi a pair of red hot copper brown. Sakuragi was cracking his knuckles and his head-butt was ready for action.

            "Ah ha ha ha…" the ever suave and cool Sendoh has lost his cool all of a sudden after seeing those pairs of scary-looking eyes seemingly wanting to tear Sendoh apart. "Is everything OK, Hana-chan…? Kaede-chan…?"

            "_SENDOH~~!!!!"_

            Needless to say, bloodcurdling screams could be heard as the redhead do'aho and the ice cold kitsune chased Sendoh down the road of Kanagawa, with the Sakuragi gundam tagging along to watch the fun.

A/N: So, how did you like it? If it's lame or anything, plz don't flame me too much. I have a bad heart *pretend to cough*


End file.
